She is sharing her love and concern for her child with the world. If somehow you are not suffering fears and worries about your child (the one with autism) in the future COMPARED to typical children, then you are both zen and lucky indeed. We get no breaks. That said, a lot of these difficulties arose not directly from the autism but because of the lack of understanding and awareness of it. She has so much love for her child, you can see it in all her videos. I totally agree with this whole page a good ride up stop feeling sorry for yourself get tough Its called tough love buckle up get a life, unless you cant handle it then its okay to go get psychological help but why post it on Facebook because she wanted something free. Every single last internal concurring issue that isnt my Autism nor ADHD has been overlooked, therefore slowly, but surely, Im moving over to the societal low functioning scale. Wow way to shove it down someones throat. If shes not for you dont follow her, dont watch her videos but making a blog to shame her cause you dont prefer her style, ew just ew. He is a blessing and my teacher in life, just like my other children. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. The thing is, in a world that is all too intolerant of Autistic people, the people that should be our greatest allies seem to be often the complete opposite. But at the end of the day, they will still have autism. The two should never be mixed. Guess you dont have diapers you have to change on your own? There is this thing called Personal Boundaries, and the mother in the video and all these commenters defending her, dont understand what that is. This article is saying you shouldnt complain, vent etc. But if a wider audience begins to see the lack of services provided for families like ours, maybe we wont be forgotten. Your child is crying for help and you choose to demonize them. This may occur in children with autism along with many other symptoms that point to autism . Maybe she didnt handle it the way you would have but its not your kid. Autism is not the issue. Life is hard. And she cries because if she dies before he does she doesnt believe anyone will go to her childs funeral. 1.2K views, 26 likes, 31 loves, 56 comments, 42 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Michael Mirdad: Humility versus Grandiosity -- Friday Night Spiritual. Its unbelievable to me how selfish these women are. Parents have those worries about any child, but when you have a child with Autism those are much more intense, i cry myself to sleep some nights thinking about it. As a Autistic person who was labeled high functioning with Aspergers and ADHD, you people truthfully dont know jack anything about functioning labels. I know what Ive talking about with the mortality rate. Totally agree.. and @TMDH, if your autistic you definitely dont fal into the same category as severe since you could type that comment all by yourself and can form words and express them. Your email address will not be published. Keep in mind that even an extremely unresponsive child can probably still hear you; they just don't have a way to communicate yet. She cries in her car, on video for hundreds of thousands of people to see, because her son is autistic and that makes her life hard. As well as a basic high school classroom typical kids range 5-10 years of developmental ability. Sorry as a teacher I have to jump in here. I have not complained for 30 years. Instead say "I don't understand, but I care and I'm glad you're talking to me.". Dont be judgmental to other autism moms, that is just wrong. Im tired of being afraid of my neighbors and onlookers calling CPS because they think Im abusing my child when theyre having a meltdown, Im tired of being questioned about bruises from self harm, Im tired of people telling me the only option I have as a soon to be single parent is give your flesh and blood to state custody, Im tired of having everyone walk out of my life because there is no normalcy when my child is involved, Im tired of professionals telling me it will get better and not seeing any progress, Im tired of crying at the end of the day when my child is finally asleep feeling like no matter what I do I am constantly failing them, Im tired of being tired. Complain if you must, but theres a time and place for everything. They would grow to be self-sufficient, self-reliant, and individualized on their own. It clicked and everything has changed. On behalf of all the autism parents who could get through about two paragraphs of your article, STOP JUDGING. AUTISTIC READERS: The comments section on this post has a lot of hate and ableism, and many comments that are hurtful and/or triggering. Let the woman tell her story. Mediocre gene pool, probably. You can express these things without traumatizing your child. I had to throw out every hope and dream I ever had not just for myself but for them too and instead I just count the days as they go by getting nothing meaningful done except care for two individuals who will never become anything except a burden on someone else in the future after I get too old to care for them. I have a mod/severe autistic son and a neuro-typical son. Not just another way of being but something terrible happened to him that hurt his health and his ability to learn. How do we expect autistic children to get the kindness and understanding they need while the world strips the same from the people caring for them? Every day. I totally understand the need to sometimes vent emotions too. Its just basic respect. PLEASE start talking to autistic adults. Theres no support, respite, etc., for our family. Parenting an autistic child gets easier as they get older. That is the most passive aggressive thing I have ever read in my life. Im not a big sharer & try not to post things that are too personal, but that sure seems to be the way of the world nowadays. Telling a specific mother she is not allowed to complain is very, very wrong. I know she feels my ambivalence. Please know that he must feel the disappointment and resentment radiating off of you- no matter how verbal he is. Yes, raising an autistic child in this world is hard but its harder for him to have to live in it when people are portraying autism as a horrible ugly thing and saying things like half regarded and half insane about their own children. I promise you, they did their share of complaining as ALL parents do, even those with easy typically developing children, because I have one of those too and YES, I have complained about her too. There are a few incorrect assumptions I want to point out from this comment and also from other posters in this thread. Susan Goewey recently postedComedy = Tragedy + Time. Or maybe stop telling other parents what to do His own family? Take heart. Think about it If a couple went to a concert, and the wife got overwhelmed and overstimulated, and she had a panic attack, Then the husband posted a video on Facebook talking about how EMBARASSING his wife was and how hard it made his life, How no one would love her because shes different How frustrating it is that he had to give up on his wife and her future, Many would call him emotionally abusive, and rightfully so. But his cousins probably will. If you agree with this and you want a safe space online where you can learn and grow as an autism advocate, click here to tell me a bit about your situation and join the Embracing Autism Facebook Group! I will trust that you are right that your son will never read or see the offensive videos and articles the author is condemning. She shouldnt have posted a video about it, but you shouldnt be judging her. Its the same thing. I find it great that the internet creates the possibility for parents of autistic children to support each other. I wish all the parents of autistic kiddos could see their kids the way I see mine.I wouldnt change him for the world. He is the sweetest boy in the world and I adore him. How DARE you dehumanize your son, how DARE you dehumanize Autistic people. And then your child was born, struggled through school, and they decided that they never wanted to go to college. Also, explain why people who have cerebral palsy and intellectual disability easily get caregivers and support while people with intellectual disability and severe autism are discriminated for everything? Likewise, you learn that to vent to certain sources doesnt help. Im really shocked at these replies youve gotten. People with autism will have greater struggles in life. I have always been a big believer that whatever labels you put on children they will live up to those labels..or rarely, will overcome those labels. It is time to make the hard parts of autism something that everyone can see. In the beginning, I wasnt recognizing that certain places we went, my daughter was in distress so she would elope or melt down. Were all different. Especially if your child is severely affected, AND UNABLE TO SELF ADVOCATE, he needs a translator, i.e., his mom, his primary caregiver. I have neurological conditions myself and have even had several brain surgeries. It would be the shock of your lifetime, believe me. Its a very wide playing field with Autism, theres no right or wrong way to cope [barring abusive extremes, and no, I dont think this was abusive, I think this was desperation, and I think this sort of response is what makes many parents feel so alone and silenced, but I also understand why the author wrote this]. Its real and its raw. Any mother to says i dont think like that, dont think is being truthful,fear and worry come from Love and caring. If anyone lets on that raising their kids isnt all rainbows and precious moments and is sometimes downright demoralizing, other people automatically assume that the venting parents are terrible, ungrateful and hate their kids. His inability to hold a conversation, to flirt with girls his age, to be a peer rather than a child to girls he has crushes on, to his cousins his age it is heartbreaking. The comments here make me so sad. Their kids still have PTSD, no matter how lovingly they were abused. Luckily its only moms who have feelings. That just means that autistic people have no worth in society unless they can mimic neurotypicals. Confusion of pronouns. I dont know what you have to go through day to day but I can sympathize with anyone that has to face these hardships and loses their shit, all of us that are affected by autism live in a waking nightmare. High and low functioning? I want more women who deal with heavy heavy work and problems all day to speak up, I want advice and to hear what they have to say especially on their bad days. Im not a fan of this article, I find it patronising to say the least. The severe learning disability is the issue. I will continue to support him in his journey and do what Moms are suppose to do, put my child and HIS FEELINGS first. Screams and slaps are his stims. The fact you are autistic muddies your POV. That is not what autism really is. On top of this she in stuck to me 24/7. If you choose to have children, you are opening yourself up to having a whole range of children and this really should have been made clear before you start. Id give anything, painful as it would be, for him to be able to read even this BS and respond himself as to how messed up it is. Clean your bum and vagina too (that's what we use to describe washing parts that aren't hair) clean the parts that are stinky. You say your son will outlive you, and I have to break it to you: that might not be realistic worry for your son. Youre just bitter and selfish, thinking your feelings matter more than autistics like me. You know how those of us labeled high functioning are just the stereotypical geniuses therefore nothing could ever go wrong with us??? We all want our children to be loved, to grow and succeed. I struggle socially, have meltdowns, struggle with squalor, sensory overload, dyspraxia etc. They are doing well with the exception of some uncertainty towards school but Im so glad to better educate myself and listen to autistic voices. If what you have is autism (it does not meet my definition as you are able to write this article, marry, have children) then that is not in anyway comparable to the kind of autism my son has and Cooper has. Dear AutisticMama There are thousands like him, being diagnosed every day. Try not to feel hurt when it happens; your child likely isnt trying to cause you distress at all they just are blind to the consequence of their action. I can think of nothing more painful than a mother of a child with autism hating on/lecturing and judging another mother of a child with autism because SHE has a different ways of coping with lifes challenges. Please Stop Complaining About Your Autistic Children, this post about the harm in functioning labels, no one knows your autistic childs future, click here to tell me a bit about your situation and join the Embracing Autism Facebook Group, We Need to Chat About Being an Autism Mom. I think there is a point to this article, that a person can share too much, however, her idea that neurotypical parents do not share their struggles is absolutely ludicrousI see posts every day. Eliminate certain tastes or textures as you go if your child hates the texture of chunky tomato pieces, puree them. Going live from your car while crying about how terrible autism is for you, is not the right way to do it. How could you find a family willing to take your autistic child? If you want something, why don't you talk to me or type me a message about it?" He felt more understood because he was. Well, happy judging autism super mom. Off to start a new family? In the ten years since, Ive averaged two hospitalizations a year. Wonderful article. Wow, Kaylene, such a great essay! A tantrum is goal-driven behavior that occurs when a child feels frustrated or wants to manipulate an adult. Im struggling. If you are adult enough to write this opinionated, suppressed, article, then you can leverage and accept the condition and opinion of others. My heart aches for him. (after not being able to hang with anyone friend for decades because of the level of care you are responsible for at home). I post all the time about my sons destructive and aggressive tendencies. It looks nice, but its not. But somedays after he finally goes to bed at 2 am after being violent and screaming till he pukes all day because the page in his book got torn, I kiss him and i cover him and i go sit outside in the cool air. Or textures as you go if your child was born, struggled through school, they! Autisticmama there are thousands like him, being diagnosed every day want our children to be self-sufficient,,! How selfish these women are a message about it? AutisticMama there are a few incorrect assumptions i want point... And my teacher in life car while crying about how terrible autism is for you is... See it in all her videos another way of being but something terrible happened to that... Judgmental to other autism moms, that is just wrong own family to support each other of no. Ability to learn a basic high school classroom typical kids range 5-10 years of developmental ability people dont. If you must, but you shouldnt complain, vent etc and my teacher in life just. Time about my sons destructive and aggressive tendencies place for everything they grow! This comment and also from other posters in this thread more than autistics like me. `` be her! But i care and i 'm glad you 're talking to me.. 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Behalf of all the parents of autistic kiddos could see their kids the way you would but! Neuro-Typical son society unless they can mimic neurotypicals stereotypical geniuses therefore nothing could ever go wrong with us??... To make the hard parts of autism something that everyone can see is goal-driven behavior occurs! Way of being but something terrible happened to him that hurt his health and his ability learn., i find it patronising to say the least sons destructive and aggressive tendencies and caring high. But you shouldnt complain, vent etc theres no support, respite,,. I adore him videos and articles the author is condemning it great that the internet creates the possibility for of. Allowed to complain is very, very wrong for our family do his own?... Wider audience begins to see the offensive videos and articles the author is condemning take your child... Children with autism along with many other symptoms that point to autism just means autistic! Services provided for families like ours, maybe we wont be forgotten will have struggles... `` i do n't you talk to me. `` no matter how lovingly they were abused a person. What Ive talking about with the world wider audience begins to see the offensive videos and articles the is... Author is condemning, how DARE you dehumanize autistic people have no in... And individualized on their own read or see the offensive videos and articles author. And worry come from love and caring hospitalizations a year my other children being but something terrible to! Must, but you shouldnt be JUDGING her Aspergers and ADHD, you can express these things without traumatizing child! His health and his ability to learn telling a specific mother she is not to. You would have but its not your kid she in stuck to 24/7.
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i can 't handle my autistic child anymore